In the Holy Father's magnificent work, John Paul II covers many aspects of the human person, human dignity, sexuality, marriage, sin and so on. I want to take a couple of chapters in which he covers the wondrous and beautiful gift of parenthood, its morality to the lives of parents, the giving of each other in marriage and our children.

 

John Paul II gives us within "Theology of the Body: Responsible Parenthood". It is clear that the Holy Father defines parenthood as a responsibility right from the beginning. It is not only a fundamental to gift to bear children but it is a responsibility. I think this carries much weight for the men and women of our time who are called to be parents but this, for me, indicates the assumed notion that for instance, the unborn ARE children. The unborn are humans. The unborn are babies. The unborn are REAL HUMAN PERSONS, requiring the care and love of his/her parents. Parenting begins INSIDE THE WOMB!

 

First, John Paul II refers to the Council of  "Gaudium et Spes" and "Humanae Vitae" and explains for us a simple notion, that parenthood is designed and should be included within marriage. It is no secret that many children are conceived outside of marriage. Marriage has lost its beauty, sacrament and purpose and has been directly excluded from a fundamental mindset of humanity, in spite of the necessary good for the family sphere. However saddening, it does not extract the distinct beauty of each and every child conceived. Moreover, in or outside of marriage, every life is a human person and created with the infused dignity and rights of God.

 

Second, a proper disposition to parenting begins with the following:

 

 "When it is a question of harmonizing married love with the responsible transmission of life, it is not enough to take only the good intention and the evaluation of motives into account; the objective criteria must be used, criteria drawn from the nature of the human person and human action, criteria which respect the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love; all this is possible only if the virtue of married chastity is seriously practiced" (GS 51).

Third, the Holy Father refers to GS, in reference to married couples, revealing they must rule themselves by conscience:

 

"shall fulfill their role with a sense of human and Christian responsibility, and the formation of correct judgments through docile respect for God."..."common reflection and effort; it also involves a consideration of their own good and the good of their children, already born or yet to come, an ability to read the signs of the times and of their own situation on the material and spiritual level, and finally, an estimation of the good of the family, of society and of the Church." (GS 50). 

Fourth, The Holy Father seems to include the basis for my theory of how a parent could be truly successful, beginning with mother and father together:

 

"He is called by God to be a witness and interpreter of the eternal plan of love, by becoming the minister of the sacrament which from the beginning was constituted by the sign of the union of flesh."

Keep in mind these four points I used to exemplify the point that commitment in marriage, choice ruled with conscience and parenting together, DIRECTLY CONTRIBUTES TO THE SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS OF PARENTING, CHILDREN AND FAMILIES AS A WHOLE.

 

Who would of thought that something simple like self control. love of ones self and the union of sacramental marriage, could be the foundation in which a city of families can be built. We have lost the idea that one should control ones self and somehow have drifted toward the idea of no need to commit, do as we please, if we get pregnant it can be "fixed" with the abortion or even parent alone. I have no doubt that there can be some kind of purpose and success of a single parent but not if the parent excludes the idea of commitment to ones self or another.

 

There are many single parents. The numbers are climbing. The ruin of the human dignity within men and women is astonishing. As a pro-life and crisis pregnancy counselor, I see more and more men and women who have lost their sense of true worth, dignity and purpose. They seem to blow with the wind and many of the cases I have seen, they have almost lost so much hope that they willingly and knowingly come to us seeking an abortion. They admit in having no one or no true understanding of what they are asking. Many men and women today do not even know what being pro-life means. They do not know the definition of dignity. All they have been told is do what feels good or they come to us because they feel they have no "way out". There is always a solution. Men and women who have fear seem to think there has to be something done about it rather than taking the responsibility, like John Paul II indicates.

 

The Holy Father, throughout "Theology of the Body" sends a very clear message to us. John Paul II, subliminally and directly, teaches us the absolute beauty of the human person. He does not refer simply to the bodily vessel but the human person as a whole including the true heart (emotion and affection), the mind (reason and intellect) and the soul (destined and desired for salvation). Collectively, they all form the complete make up of the human person. The human person does not exist with only some of these parts but with ALL.

 

John Paul II makes a very distinct approach to the simple idea of parenting, within marriage, that within the "freedom" of marriage (one is only truly free when one gives ones self to another), there is no holding back on what the human person can do within the freedom of love.

 

Parenting is a direct effect of the human freedom to love in marriage. Freely giving of each other, wholly, brings forth the gift of children. Our disposition and openness to the will and command of God to parent, must be ordered. Marriage cannot be lukewarm or excluded as an option. Therefore, in lieu of what society tells us how we can always fix the "consequence" of disordered sexual appetites, children can be seen as a gift, if only the will of God is there FIRST.

 

Many single mothers can do it. I have seen single fathers who can do it. What happened that parenting has been conceived in this way? What have men and women lost that the child is robbed of the security of a united home? Many say it doesn't matter and one parent can be enough. Maybe so but the decline of our society, the increase of contraception and the flagrant use of abortion, has contributed to the broken home and left our children without two parents. Parenting is a vocation and can only be successful within the confines of Gods love and will. In it, parents are not alone and the human person finds refuge and support. The children feel safe and have no emotional desire to linger or find whats missing elsewhere.

 

I applaud those who parent alone. I cannot imagine what it could or might be like. You decided to give your children life, in spite of something "missing". You put your baby first and did not seek a way out. I know it is hard. I know it can be lonely. God smiles on you for your selfless choice to lean in His love first, in spite of the loss of marriage or true destiny. I see it as a counselor and I admire your courage. Have faith. God is with you. I was in your position 6 years ago. Read on.

 

Single or married, parents can have a great impact on the direction and sucess of society. It begins with ourselves as individual persons. We are the first vision of what this world could and should be like for our children. The Holy Father reiterates the importance of marriage for parents but like I have pointed out, we are a world where that is no longer common.

 

So I ask you, my friends, what do we do and where do our responsibilities lie?

 

God must be first! I learned this almost too late when I was unmarried and pregnant. I was afraid and I wanted to run. I thought of nothing but giving life to my child and no matter what anyone told me or no matter how many people left me when I needed them most, I thought of nothing but the love and care I wanted to give to my unborn baby. Ever since then, the TRUE SUCESS OF ME AS A PERSON AND ME AS A PARENT, HAS COME FROM MY WILL TURNED OVER TO GOD ENTIRELY AND HE IS FIRST ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE!

 

This is the "love" I am referring to and I know the Holy Father proclaims it. Even then, unmarried and pregnant, I put God first. I did NOT despair or look for a way out. I thought of what God wanted and what I could do to adhere to His call. My boyfriend (now my loving husband), saw my convictions and followed behind me. He might have not done so but it was God who called him and he answered. I left it in Gods hands and I trusted Him for the sake of my unborn child. We are now married with three more children and I don't know where I would have been if I had not loved God and my unborn baby, FIRST.

 

One thing is clear, my friends. We must learn and know how to love through the will and words of God, practice it for ourselves, body and soul and only then can we project that Godly Love properly towards others, such as our children.

 

Remember these words and pray about them. I have lived and learned already within much of my life and I have been taught by God that it is never too late to try and heed his voice. God loves us everyday and the breath that we breathe is proof of that. Does God not deserve Love in return? If it gets too hard, try harder and Love will be the very thing to give you every answer you will ever need.

 

Thank you, Holy Father for "Theology of the Body" and I hope you all read it someday. John Paul II covers so much more that I didn't even get to speak about but I can assure you it is definitely worth the read!

 

With the points I have given with marriage, governing our conscience in choices and parenting together, enlightens the dignity of the human person and gives us the truth we need to share it with those around us.

 

Love one another, do it on purpose and parenting can be just as easy!